I can't do this

The lyrics of a song has been stuck in my head for the past couple of weeks. It became real to me in a way the artist had not intended.

"Sick and tired, of always being sick and tired."

I am tired of hurting, still. I am tired of losing a day because I am taking meds that are not working. My week is about 3 days short now. I am constantly tired, in pain, and stressed because I can't get to all that should be done.

How do I navigate this? My emotional and mental capacity is worn out. I get sick at the drop of a hat. I am wondering if the pain was really this bad? At least my mind still worked. On all these meds I feel like a fog machine.

Counting the days to my next appointment so I can kick these meds and just reboot. This is not me, this is not a life.

I feel disabled but not in the way where you need a wheelchair. I feel disabled because of the meds taking over and destroying the me I once was.

Hanging on, just barely but I have no choice. Another 7 weeks...