Not simple at all

When I started this journey I was very excited of the unique inventions we will make to enable me to do what I love and that is to farm with my sheep.

My condition is one that limits you to do the things you want to. Thus Sheep-ability because I refuse to not be able to do this.

Last week Wednesday left me and my husband with the wind out of our sails.

I had an appointment with my rheumatologist. I've been in horrible pain lately and my hubby had to start to help with the feeding. I love feeding time. It's nice and peaceful, friendly happy animals excited to see you. Early morning warm noses against your skin and eager sheep hugs when you walk in with the feed.

Things got difficult again, doing easy things is just too difficult to even think of.

My rheumy is sending me for an MRI on Monday. My joints are swollen all over, my shoulders and upper neck/back is a 8 - 9 out of 10 on the pain scale. I have not slept well in I don't know how long. The meds I am on is clearly not working and the next step is biologics.

I am new to this, gosh it's only been 8 months since my first diagnosis. This condition is not waiting for my knowledge of the condition to catch up, it's just busting forward and yells back at me.. Keep up.

So, from what I understand biologics is a TNF inhibitor. It fights the arthritis on a molecular level and I think that's what it is. I might be horribly mistaken. 🤷‍♀️ I do know it's an injection once a week.

My poor husband who does not experience what I experience feels bowled over. He feels let's stop the sheep farming and get rid of them because clearly my condition does not leave room for it. My heart sunk to my shoes.

I refuse to give in to this thing. I refuse to let my body dictate what I can and can not do. I will find a way to farm. Even if I have to build a iron man crossed with robocop suite to be able to do it.

So I am going in on Monday for the MRI and will get a pain meds infusion. The infusion I get for 3 days. I am not sure if I stay in hospital or travel in and out.

I had to get a covid test today to be able to go to hospital. Not nice at all but I have felt worse. 🤣😂

I have to move to a higher medical aid scheme for them to cover the new meds.

All of this feels so unnecessary. But leaving it will cause severe pain and deformity.

So here's to inventions, new methods of farming and a lot of see-saw emotions.